Daggers
It’s 4am sharp and I wake up with what it feels like daggers hurting my stomach. As I lie there paralysed with the feelings of dread, fear and loneliness. I realise these feelings are just my body trying to tell me something and I don’t need to be scared. I try to remember everything I have learnt throughout my journey. I’m feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable.
I lie there acknowledging myself, naming the thousands of painful feelings rushing through my body. Daggers, that’s all I can think of… What’s my body trying to tell me?
Processing feelings can be tough
As I notice myself trying to make sense of the various feelings coming up, I try to stay present, naming each feeling, one at a time; anxiety, dread, fear… I know I’m processing these feelings and that they really do need to be felt, this is the only way they will leave. Yet, they seem to be buried deep down, underneath layers and layers of other feelings.
I realise I am hugging myself as I’m doing this and this gives me a great sense of comfort and trust in myself.
My body knows what to do before my mind catches up…The body really is incredible.
Learning to listen to my body
I am definitely moving forward, learning, developing and growing and this sense of knowing makes me feel good.
After 30 or so minutes, the anxiety is easing, so what I’m doing IS working J
Listening to my body and feeling my feelings IS helping me. I tell myself how brave I am and that I love myself and that things will get better and easier, I am finally connecting with myself.
What’s this emotion now?
As I lie there, I start to feel dread in my stomach, this is just a part of the process. I’ve now moved on to the next feeling underneath anxiety. The dread feels like fire, what’s this emotion? I lie there processing it, somehow it feels better than the daggers did.
Time to get up now and start my day… I don’t feel good at all but I know this is all part of my journey and I need to be patient with myself and just be. One day I will be able to help others…
What’s your body telling you today? And are you acknowledging, accepting and listening?
Contact me today to find out how.